encounters

The other day I just went to the mall by myself because i had a big break at school. As i was driving back to school I was just listening to music in my car and worshiping and I just got fully filled with the Holy Spirit! It was so incredible! I thought I was going to have to pull over because I was crying. It’s so crazy, like every encounter we have with Jesus is so special, and it doesn’t have to be a public thing, it can just be private between you and the Lord. I think those are the most meaningful ones. This was a particularly emotional encounter with God because of the season of life that I am currently in. I was weeping because of how much love God has for us when we did absolutely NOTHING to deserve it. His love is endless and forever! I just cannot get over how incredible God is and the amazing things that he does and can do in our lives!

I praise God for bringing my heart and my mind to the place I am now, which is to desire and seek to know God more and dwell in his being. To pray and have fellowship in the Lord. God there is nothing I want more than to serve you and bring glory to your name! In my times of confusion i pray that you will help me to seek your counsel and direction so that I may have peace. Thank you for the Godly people you’ve placed in my life who are able to speak wisdom into me!

Lord you are sovereign!

discipline

Reign in Us by Starfield

We sang this song in church this morning, and I just was thinking the whole morning about worship, and singing songs. When we worship, are we actually thinking about the words we are singing and believing them? Sometimes I know there have been times when i feel like i cannot sing certain parts of songs because my heart doesn’t agree. That’s when i need to just stop and pray for God to change my heart.

This song says “We need your perfect love we need your discipline”. I don’t know about you, but i don’t remember the last time i prayed “Lord i need your discipline.” When things go wrong, i am definitely quick to say “Oh I’m under the attack of the devil” rather then to look at my own actions and decisions that got me to that place. It says in Proverbs 3:12 “The Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” I need to pray and ask God to be under his discipline. Hebrews 12:11 says “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Along with His perfect love comes discipline. I want to be trained by God’s discipline. Lord I submit myself to you, and all my faults and failures. Lord discipline me so that I may live a life that glorifies you!

blessing

I wonder by Leeland If you haven’t listened to this yet, you need to.

Jesus Christ
You bled your love, laid down yourself
And gave me life
In naked shame you hung and you were lifted high
Here I lay in awe and wonder
I am afraid
For no one’s ever sacrificed and loved me this way
So on my face I fall under your heavy grace
Here I lay in awe and wonder

The love of God is alive and great, and when I listen to this song and think about the love God has for me, i can’t help but get shivers! Our God is so incredible and He has blessed me in so many ways. I have good Christian parents that raised me to fear the Lord and to love and serve Him, I have a sister who is a rock solid woman of God and my best friend, I have an amazing church family that are supportive, encouraging and live lives that are examples of how God wants us to live. I also have friends that are answers to my prayers! God thank you for these blessings, and not only these ones but for EVERYTHING I have and for my life God. You gave me life, so it is only because of you that I live, so I am going to live my life for you!

I always feel this wonderful peace in my heart and spirit whenever I think about Jesus and how he has saved me from so many things! I can’t even begin to praise Him enough! He deserves it all, ALL the time!

Father, you amaze me! I love you. You alone hold my heart :)

 

everything

Leeland in Peru a Spanish Worship Song. Something special about this.

O Senor, dame mas de tu amor y verdad. O Senor, dame mas de tu porder y gracia O Dios. Ensename a amar, ensename a ser como tu, dame tu corazón mi Dios.

Oh Lord, give me more of your love and truth. Oh Lord, give me more of your power and grace my God. Teach me to love, teach me to be like you, give me your heart my God.

Simple words that really speak to our hearts as we seek out to grow closer to the Lord and become more like Him! Praise God for his unconditional love for us despite our sins.

God is so good. I have just been reminded today that we are never alone because God is ALWAYS with us. Wow. Even when we feel like everything is turning against us, we can rejoice because we have a loving relationship with our creator and we get to spend eternity with Him one day! I don’t know about you, but when I think about that, everything bad and stressful just disappears and doesn’t matter any more! The Lord is my strength. He calms my heart and brings peace to my mind and ultimately is my friend. All the time He is there for me. My best friend. I have the BEST best friend in the whole world! He will never leave me or forsake me! God stirred my heart today to remember that He is always near and it just brings me so much joy! I am saved! Praise God!

God you are everything good! You are everything beautiful!

opportunity

Perth by Bon Iver (Feel free to listen to this song as you read this. Its what I listened to as I wrote this)                                                                                                                               I went to revcamp this summer, and God really did some amazing things in my life. It’s funny, because i wasn’t going to go to camp originally. Then thinking about it the day before, I realized that i really did want to be at camp. So made many phone calls and was officially the latest person EVER to sign up for camp. I think it was actually a good thing that I decided to go to camp last minute because then i didn’t have all this time before camp to have expectations of what God was going to do. So I went to camp with a very open heart to just hear and receive whatever God had for me and I got so changed! God rearranged my priorities and put Him at the top of everything else and he really challenged me with some of the friendships that I have made this past year. I made a choice in my heart one night, that the friends I keep closest to me, need to be ones that are going in the same direction as me so that I am able to grow and they are able to help and encourage me on my walk with the Lord.

Those were the main things that happened to me at camp. Ever since I’ve been back, it has been so awesome just basking in the glory of the Lord. I find myself thinking constantly about Him and about who I can share the good news about Jesus too. And I’m not thinking about this because i have to, it is just a part of who I am now. I would say I’m almost a completely different person since I came back from camp. My heart desires to serve and follow the Lord with all that I have.

Something that I have been praying about a fair amount lately, is that I wouldn’t put school ahead of the Lord. I’ve been really praying that God would give me opportunities to speak into the lives of people at my school and that I would be bold and jump on each opportunity that presents itself. After Music History one day I had about 15min until I had to be at Spanish. One of my friends really needed to talk to me, so we went out into the courtyard. She dated a guy last year and then over the summer he broke up with her, and now he wants to get back together with her. They are both in the same program so all their classes, for the most part, are the same. So it kind of goes without saying, but she is finding the whole situation quite difficult. So we were walking from my locker and she just asked to talk. As we were walking I just prayed a prayer that I would give her Godly advice and that i would be sensitive but also stern but most of all just easy to trust. We talked all the time that we could before our classes. I was fully prepared to miss my Spanish class to talk with her, but she had a class as well. As we parted our ways, she looked like she was going to cry and she said to me. “Thank you. I want to talk with you more about this, because you are actually helping me.” After hearing about half an hour earlier, another girl saying to her “I don’t care. You’re the one who dated him. It’s not up to me. Do what you want.” It just touched my heart that I was able to give her some direction. And it is only by the grace of God that I was able to talk openly to her and she was receptive to hear and receive all that I had to say.

I thank God for that 15 minutes that we shared, because it just reminds me that God answers our prayers when we remember that he is the only focus of our lives.

Completely shifting gears now. My family seems to be falling apart. Not my immediate family, but all of my extended family. My dad comes from a family of 7, he is the youngest. And my mom just has 1 brother. I would say I am lucky if i see any of my aunts, uncles or cousins once a year. We are not a close family at all. Recently, some hurt has been stirred up among the family that has brought me to tears. Hurtful things were said and our family seems to be crumbling to bits. I’ve prayed for my family to become close for a very long time and it seems as though we’ve only pulled further and further apart. I am trying to be steadfast in my prayers, but it is sometimes difficult when no results happen, and then an incident like what happened the other day occurs. Ultimately God is the only one I can turn to. He is the only one who will be able to heal the wounds of our family. All I can do is pray. The Lord gives, and he also takes away. May the name of the Lord be praised forever.